


Let Be

by Vikki93



Series: A Thousand Years [1]
Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Angst, F/M, Unspoken Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 08:23:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18937120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vikki93/pseuds/Vikki93
Summary: Should she tell him that she was grateful he was so patient with her? That she appreciated the way he humoured her and her ramblings? That he had an honest smile? Not right now. Maybe later. Let be, she thought. At least for the now, let be.He wasn’t a fool. He knew what those feelings meant. How long could he kid himself? Just a little longer. Let be, he pushed the thoughts from his mind. Let be.





	Let Be

“Okay, Captain Pike. Stand by for verification.”

Tilly stood by the older man as he placed his hand on the screen, the standard DNA verification program running on the panel below. It was never easy meeting a new captain and the process was made significantly harder by the betrayal of their last. Before Pike had even stepped onto the bridge, she had no idea what to make of the man who had come to take command of their ship, her home, with barely a moments notice. Now he was stood by her, pleasant enough, waiting patiently for the scan. She wondered whether or not she should introduce herself, or if he would even have time for pleasantries. Would she come across as a nuisance if she told him how excited she was about the CTP? Yes, probably. But, then again, would it be rude to not speak at all? Maybe, yes, probably, definitely? She realised that within the few milliseconds it took for her brain to ask these little questions, she had looked at him with a smile and started speaking without realising.

“Um, I’m Ensign Sylvia Tilly. I-I’m Discovery’s newest addition to Starfleet’s Command Training Program.”

“Hi,” he responded, his voice soft and kind.

“Yeah, you have really beautiful nail beds.”

 _What_!? She groaned internally. What had she said that for? Great, now what was he going to think? Who compliments a persons nail beds? She heard the crew around her snicker gently, not unkindly, and she sensed a few raised eyebrows. They knew her well enough to know how jittery and nervous she could get and she was used to those good natured, amused looks just as they were used to her strange and often random trains of thought. Pike, however, was not. She looked down at her screen, her eyebrows furrowed at her own disbelief that she had asked that.

“Thank you.”

Again, his voice was soft and there was a patience in there that suggested that he would have time for her quirks. She risked a small look as she gave a quick “you’re welcome” and checked her computer again, simultaneously checking why the scan was taking so long and avoiding the eyes she now realised were fixed on her, kindness radiating from his look. Perhaps he wouldn’t be so bad.

“Oh, I know what’s wrong. Your pinkie is um,” she looked at him as she spoke and as she caught his eyes and his soft smirk, she grew flustered and ended up chuckling. “It’s just really weird to say pinkie to a captain. It’s not, like, a very authoritative finger but um...” She tried to avoid looking at him as she felt herself rambling, her mind going off on a tangent like it often did. But when she did catch his eye she saw a wide smile on his face, not mocking but a genuine smile. He had a nice smile. It was warm, kind, sincere. It showed off his dimples. Wait, why was she looking at his dimples? Was she blushing? Oh god, she hoped she wasn’t blushing. And she couldn’t stop her mouth from moving.

“Y’know, it’s not on the right pad.” She looked up at him again. He really was quite attractive. “Can I?”

With a silent approval from Pike, she took his little finger and moved it across the pad slightly. When he hissed in pain she jumped back, her eyes wide as she looked at him apologetically. His smile only grew wider as he gave her a slight chuckle.

“Kidding.”

“Oh my god, I thought I broke a captain.” She was sure she was blushing now. At least he had a sense of humour and he genuinely didn’t seem to mind her rambling. Patience was a virtue this Christopher Pike clearly had. She cleared her throat, trying not to think about the soft eyes that were still fixed on her. “Sorry, I don’t understand. All the pertinent information should be err...”

With a beeping, she heard the verification complete itself. “There-,” She began before she realised that his entire personal file, academy grades and all, were on display on the main viewing screen. Her heart dropped to her stomach and she was sure there wasn’t a single breath of air in her lungs. This was it. This was the end of her Starfleet career. Displaying a captains personal file to the entire bridge crew? Done for, finito, the end, over. Goodbye Starfleet. “Oh God, thats your file. I’m sorry sir.” Her voice was shaking as she apologised, wondering just how hard he was going to come down on her for this mistake. But his voice cut through her thoughts, that kind voice she realised she loved to hear.

“It’s alright, Ensign.” And she could tell he meant it. There was no malice, no anger, no superiority in his tone. He invited everyone to read his file, even read it to them himself, joked about his failed grade in Astrophysics. He trusted his crew and he wanted them to trust him. And despite Tilly’s initial concerns, she did. Should she tell him that she was grateful he was so patient with her? That she appreciated the way he humoured her and her ramblings? That he had an honest smile? Not right now. Maybe later.

 _Let be_ , she thought. At least for the now, _let be_.

 

******************

 

Everything was happening in slow motion. It felt like a fire had exploded in his chest with an unbelievable pain. His body was flying, ascending from the force of the blast and waiting for gravity to take control. And then he was falling, such a short way back down yet it seemed to take forever. His last thoughts before he felt the impact and descended into darkness was of the little girl he’d saved from the charged phaser, and the flowers outside that were the colour of his ensigns hair.

Before he even woke, he knew he was in sickbay. Probably due to the beeping of monitors piercing through his subconscious. He must have reacted physically, perhaps he’d opened his eyes without realising, because he heard an echoing voice drifting through his head. He groaned as he concentrated on the nearly audible words telling him that he’d made it, though it sure as hell felt like he was dead. He became aware of Dr Pollard and turned with a sharp wince to face to monitor. “But your ribs? They’re gonna feel like the xylophone in a Klingon marching band.” He would have laughed if it didn’t hurt so damn much.

He put himself back in action before he should’ve. If it had been one of his crew, he would’ve told them to take it easy for a couple of days but he was never good at following his own advice. He’d been briefed on the situation that had happened above planet while he was on the surface below. He’d had no idea that Terralysium had come so close to utter destruction. He’d also had no idea that Tilly had been hurt and instead of staying on strict bed rest, she’d returned to the bridge with a plan to save them all. He felt a swell of affection for that brave, intelligent, young woman but he also felt a swell of concern because she’d exhausted herself to save them. He should probably have a word with her about doing too much while she should have been resting, as hypocritical as it may have seemed coming from someone with a bandage round his chest.

—

A token. He would give her a token. The flowers were almost identical to her hair. He approached them with soft footsteps, wanting to alert no one to his presence while he was in uniform. The flowers, which he now recognised as marigolds, swayed gently in the breeze. He knelt slowly, reaching out to the petals with a reverence reserved only for saints, fingers brushing along the familiar fiery colour. He plucked it and stood, twisting it around in his fingers with a small smile before walking inside the church to talk to Jacob. Perhaps she would appreciate a token.

—

He stood outside of her quarters, the small flower in his hand. He hesitated to buzz, unsure if he should be as brazen as to give her the flower personally. He’d only known her a short while, and besides, why would she want the affections of her older captain? Yet again, she had been hurt but had still worked hard to save him, the landing party, and the planet below. She deserved a token of recognition that was all her own. And she should know it had come from him. Shouldn’t she?

In the end, he left the flower outside the door, no note, no name. Just a token. He rang her buzzer and left before she could answer or investigate why no one came in. It would be better if she didn’t know, he thought, though the thought left a pain in his chest that had nothing to do with his damaged ribs.

 _Let be_ , he thought as his feet carried him further away. _Let be_.

 

*******************

 

“Look sharp people. This is our future competition.”

Pikes voice was an encouraging force in her mind and a welcome counterpart to the now ever present, ever pestering echo of the woman she once knew. “Is that your captain?”

Tilly forced a smile onto her face as she stood in front of the captains chair, determined to not be distracted by her own fragile mind.

“Um, Ensign Sylvia Tilly, sir. Fully present and utterly focused on this very important exercise for which I am all ears, Captain.” She could hear the tremor in her voice as she tried to convince the ghost of May, her captain, and herself that she was only focussed on her shadowing task. She knew he could hear the tremor too but she hoped he would just take it as her normal anxiety rather than as something wrong. He would think she was crazy if he knew the truth.

“Your dedication is noted, Ensign,” he replied with that reassuring smile of his. “So, what should we do? How about we marry some folks even if they’re not that into each other?”

“Oh,” she chuckled. “Very good sir.”

She appreciated the way he made her laugh, appreciated the way he tried to keep her grounded. He was a calming presence on this ship that was sorely needed, especially after a captain like Lorca.

“Captain, I need your authorisation for this.”

With a look in his eye that told her ‘one minute’, he turned away to sign off on the report he was just handed.

“I don’t understand. That was funny. The captain of this ship isn’t funny, he’s terrifying.” The voice in her head was getting more insistent and Tilly responded through gritted teeth. “You may be thinking of an old captain, Captain Lorca.”

“Was he shorter? And blonder? And much, much whiter? Because that’s who I’m looking for.” God did this ghost, hallucination, figment, whatever, ever quit? She was relieved when Pike turned back to her, and she tried to focus on his calming authority.

“I’m ready if you are.”

“He’s not the man I need to talk to.”

“Hop in the chair, Ensign.”

Tilly struggled to focus on the voice she knew was real over the one that must have been fake. May was dead. She knew that. Why couldn’t she ignore it? Or, more importantly, why was she experiencing it in the first place? “Yes sir,” she replied, almost unsure what she was replying to.

“Let’s run a systems test.”

“Where’s the other captain?!”

“Uh, a systems test.” She almost couldn’t hear her own voice over the pounding in her head.  “Uh, where?”

Pike raised his eyes to look at her. “Where? In the chair.”

She looked at the chair and then back to him. Yes, he had just said that. Clearly she hadn’t been listening as hard as she wished she had. May was too distracting by far. “Oh. Sorry.”

He nodded at her gently as she sat and she hoped to god he thought it was just her usual nervous self. She wasn’t sure how she would explain the echo in her head.

“Run checklist protocol.”

“Acknowledged. Uh, step one.”

And then May was back. “This is not right! My plan is falling apart.”

“Calm down,” she hissed back.

“I’m hearing considerably fewer syllables out of you than normal. I know the chair can be intimidating but… are you okay?”

Was she okay? No, probably not. But she couldn’t tell him that. And yet, he looked so genuinely concerned, so genuinely protective that she felt a pain in her chest to accompany the one in her head. But before she could answer, May was in front of her. “No. We are not okay. I want the captain.”

“This is the captain.”

“Ensign, what is going on?” And now genuine confusion was added to list of looks he wore. Tilly felt like a deer caught in headlights. She wanted to curl up into a ball and cry but she knew she couldn’t so she opted to study the floor instead. But Saru had also noticed.

“Tilly, answer Captain Pike.” She could feel herself breaking, that last shred of self control about to snap.

“Tilly-”

This time she cut May off violently. “No, I am not listening to you any more. You tricked me and you lied to me.” Eyes. Eyes everywhere. They were all on her. She wanted to scream.

“I didn’t lie. He’s lying.” The ghost of May pointed at Pike. “He’s an imposter.”

That was it. That was all it took. Tilly knew what it was like to have an imposter pose as a captain. She’d had her trust broken by Lorca. He’d betrayed his whole crew. But Pike would not do that. She trusted him more than she had ever trusted Lorca, knew in her heart that he was genuine, knew that he would die for his crew long before he betrayed them. And she couldn’t rightly say if she’d snapped because she couldn’t cope with another word from this remnant of her past or because this remnant had dared to insult her captain but, whatever the reason, it was enough. “SHUT UP!”

Shock. Pure shock. The confusion had melted from his face and was replaced by a look of incredulity. Oh god. That was it. It was over. Before she could say anything, Saru’s voice cut through her like butter. “Ensign Sylvia Tilly!”

She stood as quickly as if the chair had burned her and she turned her head back and forth so much she felt it would come off. She could feel the tears threatening to fall from her eyes as she faced a shocked crew and a now uncertain future after this. “No, I didn’t. I’m….I’m..she drove me to it. I-” She stopped herself. God, she just wanted to melt into thin air. She tried to hide behind her hands but that didn’t work either. “That doesn’t make any sense.” Her voice quivered with the tears her eyes refused to cry. “I’m….I’m not…I’m not…Uh.” She stopped talking. She was making it worse and she knew it. She was off the program. She knew it in her heart. There was no way Pike or Saru would let her continue after it looked for all the world like she’d just screamed at her captain. Pike would be angry and she was scared to see anger darken his usually soft face. She didn’t want to see that look in his eyes. Best thing she could do now was walk away. “I’m not,” she finally said decisively. “I quit.”

She walked to the turbolift, lips pressed together because damn it, she would not cry before she was alone in her quarters. She caught Pike’s eyes on hers as she turned to face the doors. His face so full of concern, and full of patience. Not a single trace of anger. Perhaps it would’ve been easier if he’d been angry.

 _Let be_ , she thought as the lift doors shut. _Let be_.

 

**********************

 

“There’s a chance that Ensign Tilly is still alive?”

Did he dare hope? When the news had been brought to him that Tilly had been attacked by the hostile life form they had extracted from her and had since disappeared, the matter seemed as bleak as it sounded. The news had hit him like bricks falling from the heavens. He was a captain. He’d lost people before but this seemed to shake him just that little bit more. He’d never gotten a chance to ask her if she was alright after her breakdown on the bridge, never managed to tell her that if she needed to talk about anything, no matter how trivial, his was an open ear. Was it too late? There was no way of knowing what had happened to her and it seemed safe and logical to assume that she was dead. Yet Starfleet was about hope in the face of overwhelming odds. So he had continued to hope. It would seem now that those hopes may have been justified.

“There is, sir.” Stamets voice pulled him from his musings. “She was taken into the mycelial network against her will.”

The turbolift opened behind him and immediately Stamets face changed. A mixture of weariness, sadness, and a hint of hate was directed at someone just behind Pike. He knew without turning who had walked in and watched Stamets carefully. He felt a deep sympathy for the man, how could he not? It couldn’t possibly be easy to come face to face with the man whose Klingon identity was responsible for his husbands death. But Tilly was counting on them so he needed to refocus Stamets on the matter in hand as gently as he could.

“How do we get her back, Mr Stamets?”

When Pike reacquired Stamets attention, he gave him a kind nod of understanding. “Every time we jump, Discovery passes through the mycelial network for a few milliseconds and during that very brief window of time, we are actually _inside_ it. I’m proposing we do a partial jump.”

Airiams voice joined the discussion. “A predetermined course with no set endpoint?”

“Exactly,” Stamets continued. “Half-in, half-out of the network. Discovery will hold position long enough for me to leave the cube and find Tilly.”

“For _us_ the leave the cube,” Michael countered. “You’re not gonna do this alone.”

“Lets say I let you use the ship as a doorstop, can we survive prolonged exposure to the network?”

“The mycelia will attack the ship, decomposing it as soon as we enter, but tritanium is not their favourite food so we’ll have about an hour before they eat through the hull.”

While Pike appreciated his crews support for each other and while he desperately wanted to find Tilly, an hour was not much time to go with. He was the captain of the ship. As determined as he was to bring her home, he had to remember he had two hundred other souls aboard his ship, their lives in his hands. “That’s an hour to find Ensign Tilly? So far I hate this plan.”

“It’ll be critical,” Stamets continued, “for everyone to avoid places on the ship where mycelial space and normal space intersect. Anyone who touches the barrier will find themselves twisted around the axes of both environments.”

“Like the bodies we found on the Glenn.”

Even better, thought Pike. He sighed. One of the hardest parts about being a captain was deciding whether to risk his crew for one, or condemn one for his crew. It was never an easy decision to make. His crew were his family. When all you have is each other, you have to be able to rely on them. Tilly would be relying on them. And he would never forgive himself if there was a chance to save her and he didn’t take it. And his crew wouldn’t forgive him either. She deserved more than to be abandoned. She deserved everything. No, it was not in him to leave anyone behind. And it was not in Starfleet to do so either. She would do it for any of them. Tilly needed him and by god, he would bring her home.

“From what I know of that young woman....she’d put her life on the line for anyone of us.”

“That she would sir,” Stamets agreed.

“In a heartbeat,” Michael added.

No, they would not leave her. They couldn’t. He couldn’t. “Bryce, open a ship wide channel.”

“All personnel, this is Captain Pike. Starfleet....is a promise. I’d give my life you, you’d give your life for me. And nobody gets left behind. Ensign Sylvia Tilly is out there and she has every right to expect us. We keep our promises. Please report to your stations and designated safe zones in the starboard section. Good luck, and Godspeed to us all.”

_I swear, Tilly. We will bring you home._

—

It had been hard but they had done it. They had brought her home. And Dr Culber had come home too. One day soon he would meet the man whose miraculous return had elated Stamets no end. It warmed his heart to see the two reunited and a part of him understood; the part of him that almost died with relief when he’d heard Michaels voice over the communicator saying they’d found Tilly. The same part of him that wanted to cry with happiness when he saw her back on the ship. He wasn’t a fool. He knew what those feelings meant. How long could he kid himself? Just a little longer.

 _Let be_ , he pushed the thoughts from his mind. _Let be_.

 

**********************

 

“Sir?” She burst out onto the bridge in an excited hurry. “Sir, these readings can’t be accurate. Five thousand parts per cubic micron?” She could hear her voice getting squeakier as she spoke but that always happened to her when she was excited. That or she’d start rambling, which wasn’t outside the realms of possibility.

“That’s a lot?” His voice was a welcome sound and she turned to him to explain.

“Outside a supernova, no ones ever recorded densities at this level. It’s freaking amazing!”

“Excuse me?” Saru asked, indignant at her exclamation.

She quickly checked herself and cleared her throat, nervously tucking a rogue strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry sir. You know how I get around violations of causality. Plus you said that I shouldn’t curse when I was on duty.” Truth be told, she didn’t much care what Saru would think. She was more concerned about what Pike would think. That was probably the first time he’d heard her break formality on the bridge. Well, besides the May incident but technically that wasn’t her fault. At least, that’s what she was going with.

“What kind of power source could generate that amount of tachyon particles?”

He didn’t seem annoyed, just curious. The quicker she could get back on course, the quicker he would forget her transgression and the quicker she could pretend it didn’t happen and convince herself that he wasn’t angry. Although she knew him well enough now to know he wouldn’t be. But there was always that simmering doubt in her mind. “Well the technology may not have been invented yet.”

“Let’s determine more about this possible power source beyond ‘freaking amazing.’”

He gave her one of the gentle smirks that meant he was humouring her, and she nodded with a smile and turned away before he could see her blush. Well, at least he wasn’t angry.

—

Of course, nothing was ever simple. A space-time rift level of never simple to be exact. And now Pike and Ash were in a shuttle approaching it. She had a bad feeling about this. Although those weren’t uncommon. “Shuttle 5 approaching the anomaly,” Pike’s voice came through the open channel. “Now at minute five and still no signs of temporal effects. Ready to move us another 600 kilometres closer and re-acclimate.”

“Like a diver rising to the surface,” she responded, trying to lighten the situation. “Don’t wanna get the time bends sir.”

“Time bends? I like that.” She could almost hear the smirk he was surely wearing.

“Oh, everything sounds cooler when you put ‘time’ in front of it.”

She saw Saru shake his head and her smile immediately fell. Yeah, no, not the time for this. Silly. She looked back at her monitor, wanting to avoid any looks directed at her.

“Oh,” she heard Pike say. “Getting readings off the rift. Time rift.”

And in that moment, her heart swelled in her chest. While Saru had shook his head, Pike had gone along with her little quirk. He had humoured her again but not in a condescending way. He’d never been condescending to her. No, when he humoured her, she felt like she was supported in her eccentricities. He was patient. He was kind. Validated. She felt validated. And she loved him for that. Well, as one would love a captain. Well, a friend. Although he was very attractive. Were those butterflies in her tummy? Wait, no. Couldn’t have been. She didn’t feel that way. Did she? Oh, she was so not going there. Was she?

—

When they fell into the rift, she came close to crying. She could feel the sting of tears in her eyes as she frantically scanned her monitor for any signs. No, this would be impossible. There was no way to find them. They could be anywhere, anytime. They were gone. Oh god….

He was gone.

—

Starfleet is about hope. And they all held onto it. And somehow, they managed the impossible. They brought them home. She’d never been so relieved to see him walk onto the bridge. Part of her wanted to run up and hug him, but she didn’t, couldn’t. Her feet wouldn’t let her move.

 _Let be_ , she thought because he was her captain and there was no way in hell he’d feel the same. _Let be_.

 

**********************

 

The second Pike, Saru, and Admiral Cornwall had stepped out of the turbolift and onto the bridge Tilly was there in front of them and clearly in a state of high anxiety. He felt for her. She was clearly distressed about being a fugitive on the run from Section 31 and not handling it very well.

“Admiral? Admiral, hello. Hi, lovely to see you. Um, I just wanted tot tell you that I-I’m I’m not a fugitive. Never been a fugitive before, except well when I was 16 I went through kind of a rebellious phase and I, er, hacked into-”

He didn’t like to cut off her ramblings. They were sweet, they were endearing, they were a part of who she was and he would never want to stifle her. He could listen to her rambling all day but unfortunately he didn’t have time right now. So he interjected as gently as he could with the only way he knew how to focus her; with a direct question that got her right to the point. “Did you have something to report, Ensign?” He smiled at her encouragingly, telling her with his eyes that she was in no trouble, that she needn’t worry about being a fugitive, that he would get her out of this, and silently apologising for cutting her off. He hoped she didn’t resent him for that. He didn’t know if he could cope with that.

—

It’s always hard when you lose a crew member. Up in space, out on these missions, the crew become your family. You love those around you, or you grow to love them. You share your life with them and you’d give it for them. There is nothing that you wouldn’t do for each other. It’s never easy to say goodbye. He had watched Tilly crying as she tried to bring Airiam back to them. But while her mind returned, her body was not in her control. There had been no choice. Airiam knew it, Michael knew it, Tilly knew it, Pike knew it. But it was Pike who had to give the order. “Open the airlock,” he had said. How could you order one member of a family to kill another? How could you look them in the eye after? For the greater good? Perhaps, but that was no comfort now. Not to him, or anyone. These were the decisions you had to make as captain, but no training in the world prepares you for it. And nothing could have prepared him for the sound of Tilly crying. He wanted to reach out, to take her hand, to hold her as she cried. But she needed to be alone to process what had happened. She needed the space, she needed the time.

 _Let be_ , he thought as he watched her leave, his heart broken for her. _Let be._

 

**********************

 

He made her feel special. He made her feel valued. He never acted like her anxiety was a hindrance to her job. He didn’t just tolerate her like some did, he supported her. He let her ramble when the time allowed it, and cut her off gently when it didn’t, taking care not to hurt her feelings or patronise her in any way. He would gently tease her but he never mocked. He could disarm her nervousness with a smile. He was patient with her. He was kind. He never put her down or doubted her. He always gave her a chance to speak even if she went off on tangents. And she could tell that he enjoyed listening to her. Her thoughts and feelings were important and he encouraged her to express them by just being there to listen. She felt guilty for being so unsure of him when he first came aboard. She wanted him to stay forever. She would have no other captain like him. Of course that was the reason, she tried to convince herself, ignoring the pounding in her chest. Yes, he was a great captain. But who was she kidding? He was so much more.

 _Let be_ , thought the ensign of her feelings for her captain. _Let be_.

 

***********************

 

She had decided to stay on the Discovery and follow her family into the future. He couldn’t respect her more for that. She was leaving everything she knew behind for this family she had made on the ship. That took a level of bravery many would never possess. He felt hollow knowing he’d never see her again but he wanted her to do what made her happy. That was all he wanted for her. She deserved it more than he could say. She wasn’t on the bridge as he said his goodbyes. Perhaps it would’ve been easier if he hadn’t seen her at all.

She came into the transporter room seconds before initialisation.

His eyes met hers and in that moment he knew. He found out too late that the affection, that feeling in his chest was also in hers. For a split second he thought about walking over to her and kissing her, to feel his lips against hers just once. But no. Wouldn’t that just hurt them both? And he could never hurt her.

 _Let be_ , he thought as he stole his final glance at her, the transporter parting them eternally. _Let be_.

 

**********************

 

She wondered what his kiss would’ve felt like. Would it be as soft as his eyes? As gentle as his nature? As kind as his smile? As patient as his temperament? As sincere as his heart? Would it have grounded her to reality or sent her further into the stars? Is it possible it could’ve done both?

But no time to think on it now. Things to do, places to be, futures to travel to. Murderous, life destroying AIs to fight. But she would think on it later. Perhaps too much.

She’d forgot to thank him for the flower.

 _Let be_ , even though if she had a choice she wouldn’t, couldn’t. _Let be_.

 

************************

 

He watched the Discovery disappear through the wormhole, taking Tilly with it forever. Never again would he see that fiery red hair, hear that sweet nervous chatter in her voice, experience that special kind of kindness that happens but once every thousand years. _Please, Tilly. Wherever you are, be happy._

It was treason to talk about it now. No mention of Discovery’s trip to the future, no mention of the officers involved, no word written about their disappearance. He had never mentioned it to her. Now he could mention it to no one. This time the choice was taken away from him. He had no other option.

 _Let be_ , he thought as one lone tear slid down his cheek and was quickly batted away.

 _Let be_.

**Author's Note:**

> I started shipping these two by accident. I just love their interactions.
> 
> I added a couple of things to make this fic work, such as Tilly in the transporter room at the end. 
> 
> All dialogue taken from Season 2 and not written by me. Episodes featured are Brother, New Eden, Point of Light, Saints of Imperfection, Light and Shadows, Project Daedalus, and Such Sweet Sorrow 1&2


End file.
